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Congrats! You realized you want to have a threesome, and even found two hotties to do it with. *Claps.*
The only problem? Y’all can’t figure out logistically what sex between three people looks like!
And that’s where this threesome sex position guide comes in.
Below, sex educators share the best threesome sex positions for oral sex, hand sex, mutual masturbation, double vaginal penetration, double penetration, and everything in between.
For tips on how to make the threesome happen, check out our guide — How to Have a Threesome, Whether You’re Single or in a Relationship — then come right back here.
General tips
These five tips will set yourself up for pleasure, regardless of position.
Remember how expansive the definition of threesomes really is
Porn may have led you to believe that threesomes are all about penetration and double penetration. So let the record show that a threesome doesn’t need to include penetration to qualify as a threesome.
A threesome is, simply, sex that happens between three people, says sexuality, body, confidence, and kink educator Luna Matatas, creator of Peg The Patriarchy.
And that sex can be many different expressions of pleasure!
It can be virtual, in person, or a mix.
It can include hand sex, oral sex, solo sex, or a mix.
It can feature vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse, both the types of intercourse simultaneously, or a mix. And so much more!
TL;DR: Threesome ≠ penetrative sex.
Communicate about what the threesome is going to look like beforehand
To manage expectations and ensure the most pleasurable experience for all parties, Matatas says it’s important to ask and answer the following before stripping down:
- What kinds of things turn you on/off?
- What barriers do we want to use for what sex acts?
- What’s been your previous experience with threesomes?
- What sexy things are on the menu and which ones are off the menu?
- What is everyone’s level of involvement?
- Are some people just watchers, or are there boundaries around certain sex acts with certain people?
- Are there other boundaries or concerns?
Use lube!
Do threesome quickies exist? Sure! But if you’re reading a list of the best threesome positions, odds are the threesome in your horizon won’t be one.
And while it’s well-documented that all sex is made more pleasurable by lube, lube is especially important for lengthy love-making.
The longer the sex session goes on, the less likely the body is able to produce ample lubrication to keep the session enjoyable, explains Searah Deysach, sex educator and owner of Early to Bed, a pleasure-product company in Chicago that ships worldwide.
Adding in store-bought lubrication ensures that any bumping and grinding remains pleasurable instead of getting friction-y.
Don’t shy away from using toys
“What toys you use will depend on personal preferences, and what everyone is comfortable doing and to whom,” says Deysach.
“But sex toys can add in more options for play and pleasure, and make sure that everyone can have something fun happening to their body if hands, tongues, and genitals are otherwise occupied.” Noted!
Talk about post-sex needs, pre-play
Before the threesome starts, you want to negotiate what’s going to happen when the threesome ends, says queer sex educator Marla Renee Stewart, MA, sexpert for Lovers, an adult wellness brand and retailer.
You might discuss:
- Who is going to be sleeping where?
- Who will be doing the toy and sheet clean-up?
- What snacks and drinks do you want to have on hand?
- Could any first-aid supplies be necessary?
Grind, grind, go
Consider this grinding position if:
- you’re concerned about unwanted pregnancy
- you’re concerned about sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
- you really really enjoy external genital stimulation
“Have one person on their back and then the other two people grinding on each leg,” says Stewart.
If one (or both!) of the people doing the grinding want to be anally or vaginally penetrated, you can incorporate a thigh harness like the SportSheets Thigh Strap On, which you can buy online, and a dildo.
Speaking of sex toys: The laying partner might use their go-to vibrator or stroker on themselves.
Duck, duck, goose
Hands up if you’re *heart-eyes* for hand play.
Hand up? Try this.
“Sit in a circle and touch the genitals of the person to their left, shifting your eyes between partners as you do,” says Deysach. “The eye contact ups the intensity of this action.”
Pleasure-boosting tip: Pass around a bottle of lube.
Mutual masturbation
“Masturbating in front of others in a threeway ensures that everyone gets what they need to experience pleasure,” says Deysach.
“It also gives you all an opportunity to see how you like to be touched,” she says, which can lead to more pleasure sex down the line.
Your positioning options here are endless.
You could sit in a row, backs against the headboard, and each reach between your own legs.
You could sit in a circle in the living room, legs spread wide.
Or, you could hit the shower to simultaneously wank in the water.
Watcher and learn (and love)
The golden rule of threesomes is that nobody puts Baby in the corner… unless that’s Baby’s voyeuristic seat of choice.
But there are reasons it may be Baby’s choice.
“A threesome where one person stimulates themselves while watching the other two people play with each other can be incredibly hot and exciting for all parties because it allows everyone to both see and be seen,” says Caitlin V. Neal, resident sexologist for sexual hygiene and body care company Royal.
“It’s also a great way for one partner to sit out of the action, because of pain, menstruation, or preference, but still be involved in the group energy,” she says.
This is also a good option if two people are IRL and one person is on FaceTime.
Eiffel Tower
“The famous Eiffel Tower position is the most popular for achieving both penetration and head at the same time,” says Neal.
Here, the person receiving penetration bends over, either by bending at the waist or by getting on their hands and knees. Next, one partner penetrates them from behind while the other receives head from the front.
“In this position it’s important that both of the receivers move only gently, as both of them thrusting forward at the same time can, when a phallus is involved, cause deeper penetration than intended,” she says.
Daisy chain
For daisy chain to work you’ll need at least two partners who have either a penis or a strap-on.
“In this configuration of three, you line up facing the same direction, so that person in the middle is both penetrating and being penetrated at the same time,” explains Neal.
That penetration can be vaginal or anal. Three (ha) cheers for options!
Tilted triangle
Sometimes called oral daisy chaining, tilted triangle is the three-person version of 69-ing.
For it, all three of you will be lying on your sides, mouths and genitals positioned in such a way that you’re able to give oral while simultaneously receiving it.
“All parties need to open their top leg, kind of like a clam shell, to make their junk accessible,” says Deysach.
Pop, lock, and lick it
For this position, one of you will be lying, one kneeling (or squatting), and one standing. Ready?
“Have one person lying on their back, with one person sitting on (or kneeling over) their face,” says Stewart.
The person doing the face-sitting can then use their mouth to orally pleasure the third partner, standing in front of them.
Pro-tip: Incorporate a positioning chair (like this one available for purchase on Amazon) under the face-sitter.
These chairs feature two elastic straps that support the sitter’s body, taking the strain off the sitter’s knees and the sittee’s face.
Front hole + back hole = big O
This double penetration (DP) position has two prerequisites:
- At least one of the participants must have a vagina
- That vagina-having participant must have interest in having their anus and vagina filled at the same time
Pre-reqs met? Cool. Have the partner who’s going to be penetrating the receiver’s vagina lie on their back.
Assuming this partner is going to be using their penis or strap-on, the receiver should straddle their hips.
Next, have the other person kneel behind and enter the anus from behind using their penis, fingers, strap-on, or toy.
Basically, it’s missionary position and anal doggy at the exact same time.
“Double penetration combines all of the pleasure of vaginal sex with the pleasure of anal sex,” says Neal. “It also stimulates the erectile tissue that’s located between the vaginal canal and anus, a little-known hot-spot called the A-spot.”
Standing front hole + back hole = big O
According to Neal, if all three of you are athletic and physically able, you can transform the above position into a standing sex position.
Have the person who’s going to be entering vaginally hold the vagina-haver, so that their legs are wrapped around their waist.
Then, have the anal penetrator stand behind the vagina-haver, facing the vaginal-penetrator.
“Both of the penetrators should be supporting the vulva owner’s body while they enter and thrust,” she says.
A+ DVP
In case you don’t know: DVP = double vaginal penetration.
“DVP allows a vagina-haver to experience a lot of sensation, fullness, and pressure inside their vagina,” says Neal.
“They may also be psychologically aroused by the thought of being filled by two phalluses (two penises, one penis and one strap-on, or two strap-ons) inside of them at the same time,” she adds.
It can be both physically and psychologically arousing for the penetrators as well.
Physically, because their phallus gets to enjoy the tightness of a vagina *and* the sensation of another phallus rubbing against it.
And psychologically, because DVP often involves power-exchange between the penetrators and the receiver.
“One of the best positions for DVP is to have the receiving partner kneeling over one of the giving partners, at the edge of a bed, while the second giving partner’s standing behind the receiver,” says Neal.
“This gives both partners vaginal access and allows the receiver to direct their own experience by maintaining control of their hips without having to support their own weight,” she says.
Fifty shades of power play
Kinksters, this position is for you!
“If one of you is more submissive than the other two, it can be fun for the two more dominant partners to co-top them,” says Stewart.
Exactly how this looks will depend on the boundaries of the pleasure-seekers involved.
“You might have one person spank the more submissive partner, while the other flogs them,” says Stewart. “Or while one person is spanking you, you can have the other person touch you sensually on other parts of your body.”
Post-sex cleanup like a pro
We hold this truth to be self-evident, that wetter sex is better sex.
Yeppp, the declaration of sexcellence explicitly states that after sex (especially good sex), there will be a mess of sweat, lube, splooge, squirt, and/or blood.
So, you’ll probably want to take some time to:
- Dispose of any safer sex barriers.
- Rinse your (external) bits with warm water.
- Wash your hands with fragrance-free soap and water.
- Clean your toys.
- Toss any soiled clothes or sheets into the hamper.
Don’t forget about aftercare!
“After a threeway, it’s important to take time for aftercare… especially emotional aftercare,” says Stewart.
“That means going through the sexual experience and talking about what you liked,” she says. As well as hashing out anything you need to talk through.
You may also talk about whether or not it’s something you’d like to do again.
The bottom line
Once you understand just how many different types of play can occur in a three-way, it’s easier to understand just how many different types of threesome sex positions there really are — as evidenced by the positions you’ll try and love from above. Wink.
Gabrielle Kassel is a New York-based sex and wellness writer and CrossFit Level 1 Trainer. She’s become a morning person, tested over 200 vibrators, and eaten, drunk, and brushed with charcoal — all in the name of journalism. In her free time, she can be found reading self-help books and romance novels, bench-pressing, or pole dancing. Follow her on Instagram.
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